I originally wrote the following in Spring 2016. It’s been sitting as a draft ever since, though I’ve returned to it from time to time…like someone studying the pages of an old photo album. As I settle into my second year of sobriety, it’s become more and more difficult to remember what it looked like … More the look of it.
This year, for the first summer in five summers of apartment living, I took advantage of the community pool, which opened each morning at 10:00 A.M. weather permitting. For such an enormous complex, I expected a less-than-desirable experience but was pleasantly surprised to find the place very clean and completely dead until about 1:00 P.M. … More I swimmed! [once around the sun]
I think about you every day, if only for one swift and fleeting moment. Sometimes I glance in the direction of the apartment we used to share when I pass the building on my way to work. I wonder if you still live there. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a light in … More lovers past.
Late-August and early September settled over my life and into my bones like a lingering storm cloud or a bad chest cold. I struggled against the days…railed against waking moments. Finding my way back to center required the vast majority of my energy and left little room for anything else. By September 10, I was … More the things we keep.
So here’s what happened. My beloved was standing at the stove, cooking our breakfast at 7:00 A.M. on Sunday morning because apparently I’m the kind of person who has a beloved and lets someone cook for me and enjoys waking up very early – even on Sunday mornings. I was relaxing, drinking coffee, and scanning … More cautionary tales.
I’ve come to understand life as a cyclical thing. Perhaps there is no finer keeper of cycles than Mother Nature herself – from the changing of seasons and tidal currents and planetary rotation, to the decomposition of organic matter as a means of calling forth new life…Momma Earth knows how to orchestrate undeniable beauty by … More now what.
His irritation was palpable – I could all but smell the annoyance emanating like cartoon smoke off his skin. His being pissed off pissed me off. We drove home in silence, never outwardly acknowledging our respective animosity. I couldn’t bring myself to ask what was wrong. I knew what was wrong. And the fact that … More once a cheater.